----------------------------LETTER-1Paris, Faubourg St. Honore; the first letter from Harry Hargrove to his friend Charles in EnglandI promised, my de...r fellow, in memory of our old school adventures, that I would tell you all the late singular events that have happened to me. You may rest assured that this letter, and those that follow it, will contain nothing but the simple truth, and that I shall not hesitate to confess my own sins, while I am obliged to give the history of those of my two. ..”“I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.” (from an Australian claim form)“The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”“I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a. I guess I was a little bit scared, even though I was fifteen at the time and pretty much grown up.Daddy set his dinner bucket on the chair by the door, then he shed his canvas jacket, nearly black with grease and coal dust, and hung it on the back. Before he answered Mama's question, he walked over to the sink, reached down underneath and took out his jug of moonshine whiskey. He gave Mama kind of a guilty look as he uncorked it and took a long pull. We knew then that something wasn't right. In any case, I agree with Martinez and Artemis, tempered by the facts of the situation. If he begins to liquidate his trust fund and begins to move it overseas, or into hiding, we take it with a clear conscience. If he engages in a fair fight in court, then we let the judicial system take him. And if he prevails, we can punish him for cheating the system." Io, that's not logical," Martinez said. "Why not take away his advantage ... the money ... and let him be represented by whatever legal firm.
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