The what if’s were just beginning as he spent that first summer cleaning house around Marilyn, as the dumb bitch thought he was unaware of what she ...as doing with those other guys. He had lost touch with the sisters. He thought of what his Aunt had said, that the girls were gone shortly after he left town so he may not have seen them again anyway. At least until five years ago. Did he feel relief? Maybe. But was it relief because he knew what happened to them? Or to know where they were now?. Doesn’t he give her enough? fuck her enough?. Why would she need to play with herself when she knows it’s forbidden? How many times has she broken this simple rule? She is begging him to forgive her promising to never do it again? promising to do anything if he will only forgive her? begging for the pain to stop. He keeps striking her over and over until his arm is tired and he throws the crop to the floor and lays down beside her. They are both exhausted and he looks at her and says ?Rest. “I was talking to my wife about it.”In fact pretty much the opposite had happened. I’d foolishly tried to cover myself against some future discovery by casually mentioning to Tessa that I’d appointed a trainee secretary. Tessa had promptly extracted the truth from me and then asked what on earth I expected her to think when I’d arranged to have TWO young girls around me all day. No doubt attractive young girls... It had ended badly, then got worse last night when I’d come in after one in the. Except for Jana, she and her black sneakers were inseparable. Anyway, I should have noticed if Antonia was wearing Converse. That had to mean she wore them mostly at home or on special occasions. But why now? I continued to philosophize as I stared hypnotically at the soles of her white shoes. The journey went on like that until we arrived at the youth hostel. When unloading, everyone had again taken way too many bags and things with them. Everyone was laden like pack donkeys - at least that's.
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