I'm not going to start anything with him. I know how stupid that would be, and anyway, I'm pretty sure if Marr saw me coming, he could whip my ass." Y...ah, I was thinkin' that myself," Burkowitz said, "but I wasn't going to say it out loud." 'S funny, ain't it?" Del Stuart said. "You get a real big fucker like Zeke Taylor is, or a big ugly dude like Omar, here, and these guys got the sweetest dispositions in the world. Don't make no trouble for nobody ... Then you get this Toby Marr. You'd think. Trim those armpits and then all around that little pecker and ball sack.”Aunty Hazel was shouting orders, telling me how to do it, “this way.” She finally smiled at me and passed me a Gillette Fusion razor and shaving cream and said, “Get into the shower and take all the rest of that disgusting hair off. That means right to your toes.” She turned on the shower and tested the water, grabbed my arm and pushed me in.She stood watching through the clear glass giving directions while I washed,. "I am happy again," she said musingly, "and yet I'm not. As I said, I felt almost bereft while you were away and now, particularly with you holding me, I feel loved and secure again and so, so happy. But I feel I'm letting you down. After all it was me who suggested making love tonight, having put pressure on you before, and now I duck out. And that's what makes me unhappy. I feel I've let you down." No, my sweet. You haven't. You just aren't ready to go the whole way, even though a lot of you. ’ He snatched a cloak from a hook and wrapped himself in it. ‘I have to go out. If someone does come looking for you, hide here.’ He showed me a tiny secret room behind the fireplace. He paused for a moment and suddenly squeezed my shoulder. ‘I’ll be back.’ Then he was gone. I stood in the room for uncounted minutes, my mind attempting to keep itself blank. Finally I moved to fire up the stove and heat water for a bath. I stripped and washed myself, carefully cleansing my body, paying.
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