.. just maybe ... this was an opportunity to do it right.All I needed to do was decide what would make it right.Fuck!I was a forty-two-year-old woman ...rapped in my seventeen-year-old body. My head knew all kinds of things jumbled together in a mad chaos of experience and inexperience. I’d spent twenty-five years saying, ‘If I had it to do over again... ‘ And now here I was. The problem was that my seventeen-year-old self was still subject to seventeen-year-old hormones, conditioned responses,. That night I wanted to have more fun but didn’t know how to make it happen…Nimi came to room and said that she is going to sleep upstairs, I told her I’m okey here if she doesn’t care for me then it’s fine. She can go upstair…sleep there. I’ll never speak to her in my life…She found me upset and angry and felt sorry. She told me that uncle(my papa) asked why I’m not sleeping and she was scared. I told her once papa goes to sleep then nobody can easily woke him up, it’s fine (My father used to. ” She saw a figure approaching the door and quickly crossed her legs. The door opened and a man entered. It was the same guy she’d mentioned. He sat down on my side of the room, a couple feet to my left, and the room began to fill with steam again. Her and I, we sat there silently, pretending not to know each other. After a minute he looked up at my girlfriend and made brief, unsmiling eye contact. She looked directly back at him which, in my experience, you don’t see much at this bath house,. The problem is come summer there all gone and I am left with no staff. Every now and then I frequent a strip bar in town and struck up a conversation with Suzy an older dancer. You could tell she was getting on in years, she may have been over 40. I was only 29. We became friends and one day she said “my days are numbered here, I’m just too old and I’m tired of giving free blow jobs to the owner’s gang banger friends”. It was May and I knew my employees would be leaving in droves next week. I.
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I just nodded and she nodded back and smiled. I looked down at Beth with her head on my lap and her eyes closed. I placed a hand over her one of her
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