"Stoney baby," Jo said. "Another one?" Sorry, sweetness," I said. "I can't control..." Don't be sorry, Stoney. Let me hold you." She sat up and snuggl...d against my back, her cheek resting on my shoulder. "I'm here. You're here." Her hand stroked my head, my face, her fingers carrying love I'd never known."My Jo." Your Jo. I'm here. Wanna talk? What's the trigger?" I don't know if there's a trigger, sweetness." What's the first thing that you remember?" A smell. The smell when high explosives go. This year she never even asked once. By Thursday Tracy wasn't even speaking to me anymore. It was as though our marriage was already over but someone forgot to tell me.Friday morning I got up early and left for work before Tracy got up. I tried to stay busy but I was heart broken. I couldn't understand how things could have been going so well for us and suddenly turn so bad. By eleven o'clock that morning I hadn't accomplished a thing and was thinking of taking the rest of the day off as a sick. Or she was a fashion designer and we were the models for the fashion show. She would bring me to the basement where my mom had 2 big black steamer trunks, and a half dozen garment bags, full of clothes that both my mom and she had outgrown or no longer wore. It started out usually with just a dress over my own shirt and with my pants rolled up underneath (so my legs would show), and with my own socks and shoes. But gradually over periods of time she had me take off my socks and shoes and then. I said ok then she got up fromthe sofa to pick the try to kitchen then I found she was not wearing herchudidar only salwar and when she walked the slawar was stucked in her asscrack which was huge some 42 I think. She then come back aand said it is raininghevvely I cant even go now then we started watching tv but see came and sitnear to me as nothing great was coming.I though of doing something else suddenlymy eyes fall on her photo above the table with her husband. I got up and pickedthe photo.
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