"No, I bought them today, do you like them?" Umm, I guess," he replied with little enthusiasm."What's wrong darling? I know you like ladies knickers, ...nd I thought..." Its just, I kind of prefer, I'd rather, have your knickers, Mum, after you've worn them."I sat in shock for a few seconds, and then I spoke."Oh well, guess there's only one way to solve this..."I stood up and placing my hands under my skirt pulled down the black lace knickers I was wearing. Stepping out of them, I offered them to. Secretly I would dressin their clothes, I loved the feel and how they looked. I hated my bodyeven more as hair began to grow and puberty took its revenge, muscles, adeep voice and facial hair....It took many years of secretly dressing before I gained the confidenceto do something about my body. I did lots of research into changing sex,I realised that as I was six foot tall it would be difficult to pass sodecided to take matters into my own hands, I needed to be happy as me. Ifirst visited a. “He thinks you’re really hot.”Emily really knows how to break the ice.“He’s pretty cute himself,” said Rachel smiling at me.“You guys mind if we hang out,” I asked.“Just hang out?” replied Matt.“Shhh! When will you learn to be polite,” said Rachel to her brother, and turning to me, “I’m sorry. He’s just really immature for his age. Hanging out is cool.”So the four of us sat by the edge of the pool, sometimes paddling around in the water, and talked. It was pretty typical teenage behavior,. "MaybeI'll come by another time."With a smile and a wave he left, pulling the door gently closed behindhim.My dreams were incredible that night. I spent all day Saturday awash inguilt over them. Unconsciously I not only continued to remain dressed,but wore my frilliest, sexist clothes. Once I realized what I wasdoing, I felt even worse, but I didn't change.Chapter 5I went to the first football game of the season that Sunday and didsomething that I had never done before. Underneath my regular.
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