This time she started out with a surprisingly funny sounding, “Hey Asshole, are you over your little fit?” Then she giggled.“Yeah, I guess I am....Shall we start as onlys?”“Works for me.”We dated for another six months when I asked her to marry me. She said yes. Then she went into planzilla mode. We set a date for six months out and started with a family only wedding.Carol did not get along well with my family. My mother took me aside and told me to keep a close watch on her, as she was checking. " I was just trying to loosen you up a little. You're so fucking uptight. Gawd, Faith," she moaned. "Why don't you get on my fucking casetoo. See how much you and Rambo can beat up on me."I started to say I didn't appreciate being drugged no matter what thefucking reason. But before I could, Jesse's face seemed to lengthen, herfeatures sagged and tears flooded out of her eyes.She dropped onto the couch, clasped her hand together and jammed thembetween her knees the gesture reminding me of a. Girls do that all the time Zoe. Guys at this age are just looking for something different than we are.” I felt her absorb my words, felt her absorb the truth in them, and I could almost see the anxiety and guilt lifting off her shoulders as if it had been a physical weight. She leaned against me and I hugged her tighter, hoping against hope that she would also absorb some of the love I had for her, that she would no longer feel as lost and alone as I had once. We stayed that way for a. You have something else you want to talk about?”“Is it that clear?” She needed to get this out. “Remember we said that we’d delay a baby until it didn’t interfere with my employment?”“Yes.” He was being cooperative, if not helpful.“And it’s still clear for me to take next year for dissertation without working?”“Sure. Could you get a job this late?”“It would be hard. But ... Look, if I don’t teach next year, if I’m not employed, then there is no employer to object if I go into the hospital next.
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